好问英语 独家出品

柴老师｜30年教研沉淀｜写作详解

一、原题回顾

第四部分 写作 第一节（满分15分）

假定你是李华，参加了你校组织的智慧农场(Smart Farm)实践活动。请给你的外国笔友 Linda 写一封邮件，分享这次活动。内容包括：

(1) 时间与经历；
(2) 收获与感受。

注意：
(1) 写作词数应为80左右；
(2) 可适当增加细节，使内容充实、行文连贯。

二、这道题怎么破？

智慧农场的关键词是“智慧”——不是传统农业，而是科技赋能。

写这篇邮件，必须让笔友感受到：你去的不是普通农场，而是一个充满科技感的未来世界。

没去过农场？没关系。写作靠的是想象力，不是亲身经历。你只需要在脑子里建一座“智慧农场”：

• 抬头看：无人机在天空盘旋

• 低头看：传感器在土壤里工作

• 向前看：灌溉系统自动启动

有了画面，就能写出好作文。

三、5句话功能框架

（5-6句话，80-100词）

四、画面感词库

五、普通版范文（8-9分档）

Dear Linda,

   How's everything going? I'm writing to share my experience at a Smart Farm.

   I visited it last weekend. It was a modern farm with many machines.There were drones flying in the sky and sensors in the soil. The irrigation system could water the crops automatically.I even tried to operate a drone. It was really cool.

   I learned that technology can make farming better. It saves time and labor.I hope you can visit such a farm one day.

Yours,

Li Hua

（85词）

问题：语言平淡，没有画面感。读者（阅卷老师）看完没印象，因为他“看不见”农场长什么样。

六、高分版范文（13-15分档）

Dear Linda,

     How's everything going? I'm writing to share an eye-opening experience—I visited a Smart Farm last weekend.

     It was held at a modern agricultural base on the outskirts of the city. Rows of smart greenhouses stretched into the distance. Unlike traditional farms, there were no farmers working in the fields—only machines and screens.Looking up, I saw drones hovering above, scanning crops with cameras. It felt like a scene from a sci-fi movie. Down below, sensors buried in the soil kept monitoring temperature and moisture, sending real-time data to a central computer. When the system detected dry soil, the automated irrigation started—as if by magic.The best part? I got to operate a drone myself. Watching it lift off and scan the fields, I felt like a real scientist.

     What amazed me most was how technology transforms agriculture. It's no longer about working harder, but working smarter.I hope you can experience such innovation one day. Looking forward to your reply!

Yours,

Li Hua

（118词）

七、为什么高分版能让阅卷老师“看进去”？

核心秘密：读者思维——让你的文字在读者脑子里“放电影”。

一句话总结：普通版在“告诉”读者，高分版在“带”读者看。

八.智慧农场·阅读真题词块汇编｜从真题里“偷”高分表达（完整版知识星球）

我把智慧农业/智慧农场相关的阅读真题整理出来，每篇附上原文+解析+核心词块，专门摘出“智慧”相关的词汇，方便学生积累后直接用进作文。

第一篇：2024新高考II卷·阅读C篇｜Babylon Micro-Farm

这是高考真题，权威性最高，讲的是室内微型农场系统BMF。

原文节选

We all know fresh is best when it comes to food. However, most produce at the store went through weeks of travel and covered hundreds of miles before reaching the table. While farmer's markets are a solid choice to reduce the journey,Babylon Micro-Farm (BMF) shortens it even more.

BMF is anindoor garden system. It can be set up for a family. Additionally, it could serve a larger audience such as a hospital, restaurant or school. Theinnovative designrequires little effort to achieve areliable weekly supplyof fresh greens.

Specifically, it's a farm thatrelies on new technology. By connecting through the Cloud, BMF isremotely monitored. Also, there is a convenient app thatprovides growing data in real time. Because the system isautomated, it significantlyreduces the amount of waterneeded to grow plants. Rather than watering rows of soil, the system provides just the right amount to each plant.

Moreover, having a system in the same building where it's eaten meanszero emissionsfrom transporting plants. In addition, there'sno need for pesticidesand other chemicals that pollute traditional farms.

核心词块（背！）

写作迁移

用在“智慧农场”作文里：
The farm was remotely monitored through the Cloud, and an app provided growing data in real time.
The automated system significantly reduced water use.
What amazed me was the zero emissions—no pesticides were needed at all.

剩下4篇知识星球继续

九、防跑题自查清单

写在最后

写作是给读者看的，不是给自己看的。

普通版在“告诉”读者：农场有机器，无人机在飞，灌溉自动的。读者听完就忘了。

高分版在“带”读者看：抬头看无人机，低头看传感器，向前看自动灌溉——读者跟着你的文字走了一遍智慧农场，身临其境。

让阅卷老师“看进去”，分数自然就上来了。

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